Animals.....God's creation. Some provide us with comfort, joy, warmth, companionship, even unconditional love. They are happy to see you when you get home, cuddle with you on a cold winter night, or are just content to be wherever you are. However, there are others that have a mean streak and I'm quite certain they were part of the 1/3 of the heavenly hosts that choose to follow Satan. I speak of the seagull. I had nothing against the seagull, until July 1st, 2008 at about 8:06pm. Let me set the stage.....
My alarm went off at 5:30. That time of the morning should be against the law. I hit snooze twice because I just couldn't make myself get out of bed. Due to a late shift at BYU, I rolled into bed at about midnight so I didn't get much sleep. I finally got out of bed and had to hurry to leave on time. I got to work with about 2 minutes to spare, and from the time I logged into my computer and took my first phone call, until I left work 10 hours later, we were busy. We had just taken over dispatch for Lindon that morning, so we were a little bit out of our element but not too bad. It was just a busy stressful day. I had to stop and grab some protein shakes at Sams club on my way home, and I knew it would be packed. I was right. It took me forever to get out of there. I finally got home, scrounged up something to eat, then ran and changed my clothes because I had a meeting with the Stake President at 7:00pm. I really had to go to Wal Mart and pick up a few things. As much as I would have rather had a mammogram than gone shopping, I decided that if I didn't go that night I wouldn't have a chance to go again until Saturday, so off to Wal Mart I went. I was working off of a list, so I wouldn't forget anything, and I could just get in and get right back out. No time would be wasted inside that store. I had some sleep that I needed to be getting and I planned on wasting not one minute. Is there anyone out there in the world that has EVER used the self check out line at a store, and NOT had to fight with it? I strongly believe that they have some internal scanner that can detect your stress level, and from there it decides the degree of difficulty you are about to have during your transaction. Every single time I scanned something (and mind you, I probably only had maybe 15 things in my cart) it flashed the 'skip bagging' screen, so I then had to push the 'skip bagging' button and wait for 10 seconds for it to clear and let me continue. Apparently the number of items it will let you push this button on, is one less than what I had, because after the very last item I had to scan it froze up the transaction and then gave me the 'wait for an associate' screen. (Somewhat like getting the blue screen of death on your computer at work.) I learned that the internal scanner that detects your stress level also is the system on which they decide when to send their associates that clear the 'wait for an associate' screen to break. After sitting there for about 5 minutes an associate wandered by, sipping the last of her Mtn Dew and eating her last Frito (typical break food) and cleared it for me, so I was able to continue. I swiped my debit card, grabbed my receipt, and walked out the doors. Finally! I'm on the home stretch, I can almost picture my wiener dog waiting for me at the front door.
As I approach my car I popped the trunk open with my remote in hopes of making a fast getaway. Then it happened... and I actually heard it hit. As I stand there (in clean clothes that I have worn for about 60 minutes at this point) a seagull flies above me, and craps on me as he goes by. It hit the top of my head, splashed (yes I said splashed) onto my arms, and the rest dripped down the front of my shirt and my skirt. Normally I would have been about 4 shades of pissed off at this point, but I just stood there. Frozen in time. Just when you think that your day has been long enough, and you start to see that there is an end in sight, it only takes one little 2 pound seagull to bring you back to reality. Quite a humbling experience I must say.
In the future, I don't believe I will dwell on the fact that my day has been long and stressful, and that I have 20 things to get done after work before I can go home. I'm going to be thankful that I have been able to go one more day without being crapped on. But just in case, I think I'm going to start carrying an umbrella in my purse.....just to be on the safe side.
My alarm went off at 5:30. That time of the morning should be against the law. I hit snooze twice because I just couldn't make myself get out of bed. Due to a late shift at BYU, I rolled into bed at about midnight so I didn't get much sleep. I finally got out of bed and had to hurry to leave on time. I got to work with about 2 minutes to spare, and from the time I logged into my computer and took my first phone call, until I left work 10 hours later, we were busy. We had just taken over dispatch for Lindon that morning, so we were a little bit out of our element but not too bad. It was just a busy stressful day. I had to stop and grab some protein shakes at Sams club on my way home, and I knew it would be packed. I was right. It took me forever to get out of there. I finally got home, scrounged up something to eat, then ran and changed my clothes because I had a meeting with the Stake President at 7:00pm. I really had to go to Wal Mart and pick up a few things. As much as I would have rather had a mammogram than gone shopping, I decided that if I didn't go that night I wouldn't have a chance to go again until Saturday, so off to Wal Mart I went. I was working off of a list, so I wouldn't forget anything, and I could just get in and get right back out. No time would be wasted inside that store. I had some sleep that I needed to be getting and I planned on wasting not one minute. Is there anyone out there in the world that has EVER used the self check out line at a store, and NOT had to fight with it? I strongly believe that they have some internal scanner that can detect your stress level, and from there it decides the degree of difficulty you are about to have during your transaction. Every single time I scanned something (and mind you, I probably only had maybe 15 things in my cart) it flashed the 'skip bagging' screen, so I then had to push the 'skip bagging' button and wait for 10 seconds for it to clear and let me continue. Apparently the number of items it will let you push this button on, is one less than what I had, because after the very last item I had to scan it froze up the transaction and then gave me the 'wait for an associate' screen. (Somewhat like getting the blue screen of death on your computer at work.) I learned that the internal scanner that detects your stress level also is the system on which they decide when to send their associates that clear the 'wait for an associate' screen to break. After sitting there for about 5 minutes an associate wandered by, sipping the last of her Mtn Dew and eating her last Frito (typical break food) and cleared it for me, so I was able to continue. I swiped my debit card, grabbed my receipt, and walked out the doors. Finally! I'm on the home stretch, I can almost picture my wiener dog waiting for me at the front door.
As I approach my car I popped the trunk open with my remote in hopes of making a fast getaway. Then it happened... and I actually heard it hit. As I stand there (in clean clothes that I have worn for about 60 minutes at this point) a seagull flies above me, and craps on me as he goes by. It hit the top of my head, splashed (yes I said splashed) onto my arms, and the rest dripped down the front of my shirt and my skirt. Normally I would have been about 4 shades of pissed off at this point, but I just stood there. Frozen in time. Just when you think that your day has been long enough, and you start to see that there is an end in sight, it only takes one little 2 pound seagull to bring you back to reality. Quite a humbling experience I must say.
In the future, I don't believe I will dwell on the fact that my day has been long and stressful, and that I have 20 things to get done after work before I can go home. I'm going to be thankful that I have been able to go one more day without being crapped on. But just in case, I think I'm going to start carrying an umbrella in my purse.....just to be on the safe side.
3 comments:
Lol ... oh Julie, you crack me up!z
OK, so it still made me laugh again when I read through it...hey can you send me the link for these blogs templates?
Jules~ You really need to be a stand up comedian! I loved the story!
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